Ten ways to trim a flabby budget:

Put the kids up for adoption. Ditto for dogs, cats, goldfish and the hamster (if you can find him).

Get divorced. Two can’t live as cheaply as one.

Sell your Hummer to a scrap metal yard, and learn how to walk all over again.

Donate your house to the homeless.

Move to a tent.

Don’t leave a forwarding address.

Make friends with the Jones. Borrow their stuff instead of buying your own.

Join a nudist colony.

Convert to a religion that bans gift giving.

Hunt your own food, and learn to enjoy fasting.