You feel emasculated when you accidentally leave home without your cell phone - Testosteroner Phoner.
To impress your ex-girlfriends, you purchase a new, improved cell phone every three months - I Shown 'er Phoner. Generously, of course, you give your old cell phones to charity - Donor Phoner.
You never use your cell phone in public, but you have the utmost respect and admiration for those who aren't afraid to use theirs - Condoner Phoner.
You have yet to receive a call. In desperation, you start leaving messages on your own voice mail in an attempt to use up your unlimited minutes - Loner Phoner.